First thoughts on the new 50 Shades of Grey Trailer

Now we know it started off as Twilight Fan Fiction (for future reference fan fic should never be made into a movie… Except maybe JohnLock…!) but the brooding “I’m so dangerous stay away from me” air that Christian Grey exudes and the doe-eyed, intenseness of  Anastasia Steele just screams R-Pattz and Kirsten (granted Dakota Johnson has way more facial expressions but still…). We’re still yet to find what’s so attractive about a guy who says he’s “dangerous”. Surely that’s a sign that either he is a bit creepy and not really worth the risk of finding out, or he’s a total loser who lives with his parents, has a 10pm curfew and has read so much fan fiction he thinks “dangerous” is the way to get women…

The self confessed Mummy-Porn book had ladies on trains everywhere blushing into their Kindles and men everywhere thinking they’d found Nirvana – there was even a supposed baby boom (please let this historical event be taught to children in the future as they slowly realize they are a product of Twilight porn…) But did it really need to be a film? And will it even work as a film? From what we know of the plot, it does seem like a film that should be enjoyed at home, alone, rather than in an over priced cinema, popcorn in hand, even if you do upgrade to the nicer seats. You think you’ll be surrounded by hot, 20-something women, looking for their own Mr Grey, but it’s probably more likely to be a room full of women with Grey panties on…
A big question is how they’re going to show the steamy scenes and still make it a watchable film? Will they go all out and graphic, or be so subtle and suggestive that you’ll see poor old Christian’s blue balls through his pants. How much can really be done with shadows and clever camera panning?
What we want to see is what happens after the 3 books worth of sexual fantasies? When the excitement dies down and the honeymoon period is over. When they leave the telly on so Christian doesn’t miss the footy. When Anastasia stops wearing matching undies and shaving her legs. And when the infamous sex dungeon becomes a utility room – that sex swing would be great to hang up the bed sheets.
First thoughts on the new 50 Shades of Grey Trailer, First posted on: www.Hellou.co.uk July 2014.

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